What do gay men want? A simple question with a myriad of possible answers. Today, we’re zooming in on one particular facet of the gay dating world. On the Reddit community r/askgaybros, a user asked a captivating question: “Do you want or need your bottom partner to have an erection, or do you not care?“
This simple yet complex question has elicited numerous responses, providing insights into the varied preferences of gay men. Let’s break it down.
One user noted that in their experience, an erect bottom could serve as an indicator of arousal, but it wasn’t a necessity. Their primary concern was that their partner enjoyed the experience. It seems that for some, an erect partner isn’t an indication of their prowess as a top or their partner’s pleasure but merely a bonus if it happens.
But what about the influence of porn on these expectations? Pornographic films often depict an erect bottom, suggesting mutual pleasure and arousal. However, another user argued that these images have set unrealistic expectations and that more focus should be on intimacy and sensuality.
Many responders said they preferred to stay flaccid when bottoming, finding penile stimulation to be distracting. Some even hinted at the practice of chastity, where one refrains from sexual release or, in some cases, even getting erect, deriving pleasure from the dominant partner’s enjoyment.
One user’s comment particularly resonated with the community: “Your pleasure is derived from his pleasure enjoying your body… you don’t like to be erect as it takes the focus off him.“
However, some others expressed a preference for their bottom partners to be erect, viewing it as a sign of their engagement and enjoyment. For some, this involvement included touching or playing with their partner’s erection during the act.
It’s crucial to remember that clear communication is vital in any sexual relationship. If a bottom partner prefers to stay flaccid, they should feel comfortable expressing it, preventing misunderstandings and ensuring a satisfying experience for both parties.
In conclusion, the responses from this Reddit thread reveal a rich diversity of preferences within the gay community. It’s a reminder that sexuality is not one-size-fits-all and that open discussions about our desires can lead to more fulfilling relationships.